I am weak

The Kitchen's Fellowship had been launched for more than 2 months now and well, like all ministry, there are ups and downs.
"Well, why do you have to waste all the money, is it worth it?"
"Is what you are doing what God wants?"
"God gave you management skills to manage your money well, why are you not managing it properly?"
Those are the questions that had been bogging me 2 weeks ago. I felt insecure and I felt a great urge to seek God and find peace in Him.
I am a human and I am weak. Sometimes as I walked on with Christ, I am not sure if the decisions I made were right. Therefore, I can say that I am weak.
However, as I seek God in prayer and quiet time, He gave me His assurances through a wonderful verse, that is, Romans 8:26

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.

After reading this verse, I am assured that the Holy Spirit who lives in me will pray for me for I do not know what to pray for myself. At that moment, i do not know what best glorifies God but i do know one thing; the Holy Spirit will pray for what most glorifies God. I just have to be ready to be obedient to any outcomes for it will most glorifies God.

One thing is for sure, I do not know for what reasons all of these things happen whether good or bad but all i know is that i will be conformed to His will.

After much praying and praising God, I felt peace in my heart that all the sacrifices me and my friends poured out for the Kitchen's Fellowship is pleasing to God as the next verse really impacted me. Hebrews 13:15-16

Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise - the fruit of lips that confess his name. And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased.

After that night, I found assurances that as I surrender and submit myself to God, the Holy Spirit will pray for me as I am weak and I cannot perceive the things of God. All i can do is to offer to God a sacrifice of praise as that is the only thing i could offer to Him for He is my song and strength, His righteousness is my salvation. Amen.

Singing in the Rain

I thought of this catchy title because it is raining right now and everytime it rains, it would always remind me of 2 things; cheese cake and kiwi fruit. Haha. That must seem to be awkward to you but i just like the feeling of slowly dipping my spoon on the cheese cake and kiwi while solemnly looking at the rain dancing on the floor. Well, today wasn't going well for me. Once again, the feeling i thought have been lost for so long came back again. The question arises, "Where can i find a true friend?". I have been struggling with this since form 4 due to my personality of getting to emotionally attached to someone. I'm willing to put my trust completely on that person and thus making me vulnerable and weak. On one hand, i learnt to be tough but on the other hand, i needed someone's care and love. Wretched man I am. While driving this afternoon, tears flowed out as i asked myself why?why?why?..why does it have to be like that? Why this wretched feeling? It's tough but then, i know it is pointless to keep on searching for no one is perfect in this world. The search stops once my soul is rested on the Lord.

Lord, help me to see you as my trusted friend, not to just know it in my mind but to experience it personally.

Happy "Very Early" Birthday, Edmund

"Look at the time, will Edmund be back anytime soon?", I wondered as i kept an eye of him from my apartment in U-heights.

"Jia Ning, quick, prepare the cake, he might be back anytime soon."

"Ok, is he really coming back now?", as Jia Ning took the cake out from the refrigerator and placed it on the table.

After a few attempts trying to penetrate the candles through the hard layer of chocolate toppings, Jia Ning asked me, "But, how do we suprise him? How about giving him a suprise while he is bathing?"

I rolled my eyes up to heaven and said, "Edmund don't bath at night."

"WHAT! That would be smelly and then he will be sleeping on the bed."

"Well, that is Edmund."

"Don't worry, I'll force him to take his bath, he would surely listen to his 'da jie'."

"Ok, then keep the cake back into the refrigerator again."

As i was keeping vigil of any sign of Edmund, suddenly, he stood right in front of the gate.

All of us acted cool, as if nothing happened and as planned, Jia Ning forced him to take his bath.

GREAT! Everything was going smoothly.

"Right now, we need to figure out how to suprise him. If we light up the candle too soon, it will be gone by the time he is out", I said as we took out the cake again.

"Hmmm, I know, I'll go in and talk to him, if you hear me talking out loud, it means that he is out of the bathroom." as i giggled at my sinister ideas. Muahaha.

So, i went in while Jia Ning was being alert to any loud voices from the bedroom (the bathroom is in the Master's bedroom). While in the room, I read through the Bible looking for questions that i could ask him.

Suddenly, the shower stopped and noises in the bathroom indicating that he was going to come out soon.

"HEY, EDMUND, so, you got a nice bath?" *swt *swt (dunno what to say..haha)

I'm not sure what was going around outside but i sure did help out delaying him for a few seconds.

As Edmund walked out of the bedroom, "SUPRISE", everyone shouted.

It was a totally awkward situation as everyone was in shock mode and Edmund's birthday is like a month more to go. But we sang the birthday song, took some pics and ate the cake. What's best was the DURIANS. Yummy.

Edmund out of the bathroom (lost for words)

Edmund's 'da jie', Jia Ning

That's the Birthday Boy

From left; Clement, Jia Ning, Edmund, the Author, Abe

Happy Birthday to Edmund. May you continue to grow to desire God's glory more and more each day.

A Hectic Month

I thought it was going to be a relaxed May but i was mistaken. It was actually busy and filled with things to do. Besides learning piano, motorcycle and also preparing for my musical performance, my hometown friend, Clement came to visit me in Penang. He was a blessing to me. We had a great time taking turn cooking for Kitchen's Fellowship and he introduced some of Tham's secret family recipe (I can't tell you what is it because it is a secret family recipe). Haha. But I also missed out on more good food due to time constraint.

After Clement, my brother came over. He got a place in UTAR, Kampar. I just came back from Kampar, helping my brother to settle down. It was a hectic trip but seasoned with little blessings that makes the trip meaningful. Besides the good food, I felt that God is working in UTAR especially in the campus ministry. Therefore, let's pray for UTAR that it will make an impact and that there would be workers who are willing to sacrifice luxury to stay in a small town for the glory of God.

Well, I am going to miss the both of them and God gave me the opportunity to have closer relationship with my brother. Praise Him.

John 17:26

“I have paraphrased John 17:26 in order to pray it like this: ‘Father, grant me power from the Holy Spirit to love the Son of God like you love him.’

I pray this in the morning when I get up; I pray it during the day when my mind slips into neutral; and I pray it when I fall asleep at night. My heart has been captured by this prayer.
When I pray it, I am confessing to God that if he does not grant me a work of the Holy Spirit in my life, I will never acquire passion for the Son of God. I am confessing to him that my godliness, my discipline, my knowledge of the Word, though all good, are insufficient to produce passion for the Son of God.

I can change my mind, but only the Holy Spirit can change my heart. Divine love can only be divinely imparted.”

—Jack Deere, Surprised by the Power of the Spirit (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1993), 201

The Naked Truth

Recently, I'm bothered by this statement, "God died to satisfied His wrath"; in other words, Jesus Christ, whom the Christians perceive as the Son of God or God Himself, died on the cross to satisfied His demand for holiness. Holiness means "to be set apart" which means, unless we are holy, we will not be able to approach God at all or to be in His presence. In other words, there won't be any hope for us at all unless God provides the way and unless something is done to satisfied His demand for righteousness and holiness. This is because we are dead people and dead people cannot listen, they cannot see, they cannot understand the things that are from God.

Paul describes it vividly in Romans 3:23, "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God". Yeah, you heard it right, we are all sinners. I am a sinner too, I am dead and unless God Himself comes to save me, I am as good as a dead person.

Praise God for the works He did on the cross. It doesn't matter whether the work on the cross seem logical or not, it is how God wants it to be. To think that the Lord of the Universe, the Creator of Heaven and Earth and the Giver of Life would penetrate through our world in the form of skin and flesh just so that a perfect sacrifice can be made on the cross to provide us a way to come back to God is just so mind-boggling.

This explains 1 Corinthians 1:27, "But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong".
Yeah, you heard me right. This is all foolishness. Who would be able to accept such a truth? I would rather believe that through my own strength, i can become God or at least save myself. But remember that i am dead. Whatever i do is useless. Only God can save me and if it is through the work of the cross, it wil always be the only way. Therefore, no matter how you try to change the truth, what is still left is the naked truth and nothing can change it.

I would like to challenge followers of Christ to really look into the essence of Christianity. Why do you want to believe in Him? Can you understand or taste the price that God had to go through to save you from eternal damnation? Have you tasted forgiveness? Look fervently into the bible and let's pray that we will continue to grow in the knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ.

To those who are not yet in the fellowship, seek the truth. I believe that what's left in the end will be the naked truth.

Waiting on God

Sometimes, we tend to keep on working and working and working hoping that fatigue and stress are evidences that we are doing something for God especially in regards to services in church. However, are we waiting on the Lord? I believe that we should always start our day waiting on Him (devotions, prayers, reading of the Word and a relationship with Him). Through that, we are filled with His grace, which is sufficient for us to go through each day.

When Jesus was calling the disciples to go and preach the good news, Peter was thoroughly excited but Jesus called him to wait until the day of Pentecost. Why? Because they needed the power of God to work in His kingdom.

Are we waiting for the Lord? I hope that this prayer would be our prayer too.

Lord, this morning I'll stop for a while at least to "just wait on God". I know You're wanting to work, and I for one am willing to wait this morning to hear Your voice and discover what You want to do for me today. Amen.

Trip to Kemaman and Mentakab

The ironic thing about this trip is that it was relaxing and full of free time. I'm saying so because i had never been traveling in such a way. Usually, I would squeeze every single activities i could think of and make sure i get the most out of the trip. But it was different this time and I must say, it was enriching.

In Kemaman, I experienced the 'famous' Hai Peng Kopitiam, keropok lekor, fish mee, my friend's mum cooking (some say best in Kemaman), a lot of U-turns (if you go the wrong way, don't worry, just U-turn) and many more. However, it was the family trip to Sungai Lembing that had enlightened me. Besides the awesome, majestic view of the mountaneous area, I had a great time. I also realized that somewhere deep inside me was a longing for a family. I do not wish for more than a contented and peaceful family. Well, this desire is due to problems in my family and also the lack of communication with my dad. The language of love that my dad used was different from mine. His was more action and less talk, mine was more talk and less action. To be honest, I always long for a dad, at least to talk with and just be best friend. I learnt to appreciate him more. Although it is hard but I believe with the Father's love, I can mend the broken heart.

The Famous Chee Cheong Fun and Curry Fish Mee.